Long time no see.

Alright so I might have forgotten all about the fact that I am supposed to run this blog. Lately I have been focusing so much on my gaming and the other blog that this one slowly just crept out of my mind. Sorreh! But now I'm sort of back. Sort of meaning that I can't say for sure that I will keep a promise to be back completely and that my ADD won't kick in and just simply get me focused on something else. (For the record I don't have ADD but you can wonder sometimes if there isn't a tiiiny bit of it there.) (For the record times two I'm nice to myself don't worry I'm just being sarcastic.) Well so.. what has been going on since I was last here? 
Ohh are you sure you guys want to find out? 
Just kidding, a lot have in fact been going on both good and bad. But right now I'm all about being possitve so let's focus on the good. I have made lots of life changes for the better. I feel like I have grown as a person in the last couple of weeks, more than I have ever done in my entire life. (We're not talking about height here just to clear that up, puh! Lucky! Giiant. lol!) And it makes me wonder what the h-ck I was doing with my life prior to this? 
I kind of figured out that I had been living for everyone else not for myself. Now that might sound a bit strange to you but hang in there it will hopefully make more sense in the end. 
So ever since I was a kid I have always thought more about what other people might think of me and the things that I've done; than what I thought myself. I do think that most people are like that but I guess it's all about what you do with it or how you handle it. Myself I kind of tried to turn myself into someone I'm not; just to please everyone else. I have tried to fight this before but fighting it isn't the thing that's important. Before I wasn't really on the clear that I was trying to turn my life into a show for everyone around me. But with all the changes that has happened lately it really opened my eyes. And for the first time I'm not living for anyone but me. 
With that said, I still do care loads about those who are close to me. My family and closest friends will always have a huge part in my life and I don't have to say who you guys are because you already know. I will forever be thankful and greatful for everything you have done for me. All the times you have hugged me when I needed it, all the times when you have wiped my tears, all the times when you made me smile when I didn't feel like smiling. All the silly times when we just laughed at stupid things because it was funny to us. And all those times when you showed that you were truly there for me, no matter what. 
I can honestly say that in the last couple of weeks I have felt like crawling up into a little ball to cry more times than I have ever had before. But what pulled me through was the fact that I knew there were people out there who just stood by me and waited for me to pull myself together. Not for them but for myself. 
I will in the near future make even more lifechanges and if it seemed scary before, it now makes me feel all giddy and happy. Because even if I screw up and fail at least I did try. And I know that if I need a hand for a moment when I feel weak there are someone out there to hold it. 
So there now I have cleared that off my chest and we can move on. Move forward. I hope that I will keep my somewhat of a promise to myself that I will blog more on here but as I said I can't swear by it. You just got to keep your fingers crossed and me too. 
With that said I hope that you all are feeling great and that you guys are having a wonderful spring/summer/fall depending on w


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